How Companies And Managers Can Support Employees Experiencing Grief

The U.S. Surgeon General’s Framework for Mental Health & Well-Being in the Workplace highlights employees’ needs for security and safety, with recommendations for employers to focus on enabling adequate rest, normalizing and supporting mental health and prioritizing physical and psychological workplace safety.

According to Mercer’s 2024 Global Talent Trends report, only 50% of organizations offer training on fostering psychological safety, and thriving employees rank awareness programs on difficult topics as the second most important benefit that will make a difference.

I can’t think of many more universally difficult topics than grief. Supporting death or loss is fundamental for employers to create safe and genuinely supportive cultures. According to Option B, 60% of employers only offer up to three bereavement days. You are reading this because you want to do better as a manager or leader and embrace microsteps.

To delve more into the topic, I connected with Rebecca Soffer. Rebecca is the bestselling author of The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience and cofounder of Modern Loss. 

Rachel Montañez: What are some best practices companies can take to support losses?

Rebecca Soffer: Employers play an enormous role in how someone who works for them will move through an incredibly difficult time.

People want to work for places that support their physical, mental and emotional well-being. On a broad level, it’s important for companies to adopt policies that make it clear that if an employee is grieving a loss that feels real to them, then it should be respected as such—from miscarriage to stillbirth, from a partner to a favorite aunt to even a pet.

Companies have no idea what types of relationships these are to their employee. They should be given the benefit of the doubt that if they’re saying it’s hard, it is – for example, I know a woman with lupus whose life was turned upside down after the death of her dog, who kept her physically active for years. This also means supporting employees who are experiencing anticipatory grief (for example, perhaps they have a relative with a terminal illness and are even caretaking for them).

Beyond creating clear bereavement leave policies (ideally including five paid days off), companies should also create ones that consider the reality that bereavement doesn’t end with a funeral.

Major losses have health, economic and social impacts. People might need to find new places to live, figure out how to transfer car titles or get their kids into different schools; the scenarios are endless. People need to be given the flexibility and support across long periods of time to manage the emotional, mental, physical and logistical impacts of grief (and if they are, they’ll be better employees because of it) and very clear permission to accept that support.

Montañez: Talk us through some practical things managers may want to do if someone on their team is experiencing grief?

Have an open door

Soffer: The most important thing to do is to make it clear that while you may not understand exactly what they are going through, you know it must be difficult and that your door is always open to having conversations. If you set that tone, other team members will take note and may follow your lead. 

Repeat your open door policy

Soffer: Don’t make it clear once: schedule regular check-ins with someone, perhaps through a short weekly meeting or call, as needs shift over time. 

Be flexible

Soffer: Be open to saying yes to temporarily adjusted work schedules, geographic flexibility, some unpaid time off to take care of things that cannot be handled easily while working and potentially even skipping one round of employee evaluations when grief is at its rawest. 

Be mindful of dates

Soffer: It also helps to learn which dates might be extra challenging for that person, say, the anniversary of a death or diagnosis, a Hallmark holiday such as Mother’s Day, etc., and preemptively reach out to let them know you understand this may be a tough stretch and ask if there’s anything specific that would make it easier for them. It’s hard for people to ask for help; be the one who offers it.

Montañez: What challenges may remote leaders face when supporting a grieving employee, and how can they navigate them?

Soffer: When nearly all your interaction with someone is virtual, gleaning what they might be going through is even harder. Offer everything you would ordinarily offer an in-person employee. But make an extra effort to check in with them each week to see how they are doing and what feels hard for them right now. If most of your team is virtual, organize an online well-being event with an outside person who can create a dedicated time and space to share what people are going through – sharing our stories in ways that feel comfortable to us truly sparks more empathy within any community. Consider visiting them in person, even just once, to send a message that you genuinely care about their well-being.

Let’s go back to basics. Finish the golden rule: Do unto others as you want them…

None of us are immune to grief and loss. If we make work human-centered, everyone flourishes!

This article was first published on Forbes.com